This is rehab, I gotta tell you all the bad shit I did.
So, uh
you hocked everything, Is that it ?
The bracelet
The venetian glass we got on our honeymoon
I didn't sell that ceramic bowl - that they gave us as a wedding present.
I made that for you.
I know, it's special as shit to me
That's for you, by the way
I made it in art therapy
Thank you, I will treasure it always.
Jesus christ marc! Is there more, is that it? What?
Just the thing with the waiter at the airport chili’s
I need to fez up it's part of the process
It was just a little bit of tounge - I was gonna get on the plane to see my mother
but the guy had some blow one thing led to another
we made out a little - Enough!
Just stop.
If I were doing anything like that you wouldn't want to hear about it, would you?
You absolutely would not want to know - something like that.
well I wouldn't say absolutely you were doing something like that, remember?
With Dani.
you went off the deep end - and what did I do?
I stood by you
And that's what he's doing he's here,
he's standing by you.
this is going to be rough honey you're just in the first week.
you guys are gonna get through this.
Yeah, you're going to be stronger in the places that are broken.
Hemingway said
I don't know what I'd do without you guys
Fortunately, you will never have to find out
We should go, give them some space.
you look much better without that - giant monkey on your back
Not good enough What, you want tongue?
I want everybody in.
Come on, you too
Like a group hug?
please.
Feel the love. I'm feeling the love.
The love is strong. Something poking me on my left but i'm feeling.
I got a boner
Season 2 - Episode 9 0tv
Watch and learn
Are you swinging on the exhale or the inhale?
one ball way the fuck over into Wedins front yard then you have to tell me
Everything Janie said about you? Yeah.
No way. I don't interview and tell.
Captain hook.
come on Moody, it's my fucking life
No more it's not, it's my book.
Besides, I'm not wagering you on this game - you invented it, you made up all the bullshit rules
Run, you cunt. oh that was alright, it came back.
kind of a methaphore for life, isn't it lad?
this is Ashby’s world, we all just live in it
come on I've been good lately I haven't seen Mia once
She's been busy doing publicity for this book she wrote
her memoires or something?
come on, give me a little something for good behavior
I can't tell you how I know this, but the beverly hills husband
..definitely cheating
I know more when i see her tonight
you're gonna see her tonight?
it's friday night.
you can't see her tonight that's weird, it's like a date
what, two people of the opposite gender can't rendezvous after 7 pm?
it's automatically a date?
right, in Ashby’s' world.
i like that
no Marcy is still out of town but I could squeeze you in Tuesday at four
how is the patient? requiring all my patience
listen daisy, I can't thank you enough for filling in like this
No problem, it's fun
Fun? Rescheduling all of marcys appointments. Deal with angry clients.
It's a lot easier than getting cumshot in your eyes - pretending to like it
and all week long I've kind of felt special
you know like one of those girls - in the movies, who works in an office
like Devil wears Prada or something
well those girls all generally get paid
I'm here helping out, not here to get paid
you guys took me in, you made me a part of your family
I don't know if family is the right word
oh you mean because of our ??? don't worry, I get it
I know it's never going to happen again
you do?
yeah, don't sweat it. I'm already looking for a new place to live.
the guest room is yours until you..
oh, excuse me. important work to do.
You Karen? Who's asking?
I work for Lew Ashby
It just says "get in the car".
we'll have you back by eleven back from where?
I can't say exactly, but i can say supremely awsome
you honestly expect me to get - in that car with you?
What? you got something else to do? It's friday night.
You sure about this?
We can always grab a box of their best chardonnay and drink at the bus stop.
you promised that you would take me - anywhere I wanted to go tonight
I did, and I meant it but I was thinking more like burgers at the Apple Pan
oh, so you're a cheap date?
Just because two people of the opposite gender rendezvous - after 7 pm, doesn't necessarily make it a date.
I think Lew would disagree with you on that
He has
So he knows we're out tonight
She has because she obviously still gives a damn
what about you, your husband. Where does the one you gave your trout to -
where does he thinks you are tonight?
He took the kids to Legoland for the weekend
plus, he feels Venice is to dangerous - he doesn't like to come here.
in that case he may be right
look at this monstrosity
I like this one
you do?!
yeah, that's how i feel
what's that? Alienated?
Nauseous?
Culturally dispossessed?
No, horny.
Hey, are you ok? Is he ok?
you know, it just went down the wrong pipe
cheesecube.
Hi, I'm Janie. Hi, I'm Sonja.
when are you due? 6 more weeks.
You look great. Thank you.
Hank and you know each other?
Look who's here, look at that
Sonja and I, we have no secrets
Yeah, Hank is the father - alleged father
Nice that you're here you know, I'd never thought you'd be at a place like this
this is Julians gallery
I did not know that
and now that you do - you never gonna get down here again, will you?
absolutely not
who's Julian?
Julian self, the artist within.
oh my god, look at that.
I knew it, look how late it is
we're uh.. we're hopping from gallery to gallery tonight gallery hopping actually, they call it.
we got another thing to get to, so here we go.
I don't think we have another thing
you cannot leave without saying hello to Julian
you promised we can do anything I wanted tonight
I did? That doesn't sound like me
You don't know me well enough - to torture me in this fashion
Shit Marcy, all the petty cash too.
I'm sorry, Listen..
Look, I know it probably took a lot - of courage just to walk in here
but actually we're closed, in fact we don't really even do men..
Is daisy here?
No listen pal, No moss appointment today I forgot to lock the door
We're going out
On a date?
you look amazing
you do, you look..
I was just meeting your friend
I'm sorry I didn't catch your name
Oh, Steve
This is my boss, Charlie Runkle
Nice to meet you Steve. Nice to meet you.
Have you got a job, Steve?
Some means of support. Oh yeah,
Of course,
I work across the street at the sharper image
you know, if you're not done with work, I could just wait for you outside if you like
That would be great. -Ok.
Seems nice. Don't you mean boring as shit.
Thanks for covering for me by the way
we both know I'm not really the girl - who works at the front desk
Sure you are, you are any girl you want to be
I don't have to go out with this guy, he asked and i figured what the hell -
do something normal for a change
but I can tell him something came up at work, and stay, help you with the books.
because that wouldn't be at all dysfunctional, no no, you should go.
you should go out tonight on a normal date, with a normal guy.
Because you're young and normal and that's what normal people, normally do.
ok, don't work to hard.
Don't you fuck him to hard
Just in time
I had no idea they started so promptly
Lily haydn, hollywood 8:30
I take it you don't like the crowds
I have, issues.
Think you might stay?
I might ???
where are we gonna sit?
Maybe we can squeeze up front, I know people.
do you know which hospital you're going to.. - Oh god, no. No hospitals.
We're having home water birth.
Eases the birth trauma and that's much more sensional for a woman.
Facilitates the birth orgasm.
so in a pool this is going to happen?
so you're not expecting so much of water - it grows a sea monkey
Hank.
it's actually, it's a boy
we have a home ultra sound machine, we do it every week.
did i forget to tell you about that?
about the home ultra sound machine?
Yes, but I of course assumed you have one. Doesn't everybody?
I know I do.
Hank hasn't allways been so involved - in all this pregnancy stuff
???
Janie, have you experienced giving birth?
Yes, I have.
but you haven’t experienced the birth orgasm.
No i did not
maybe you should let Julian do a reading for you
you could gauge your negativity
I think he's gauging it right now
No i think we're good, we have to get going have that thing
What thing?
You don't wanna stay here and worry about the birth orgasm
Janie, you have very beautiful eyes
I do? -yes
Whatever pain you have experienced in this life, you've obviously transend it
are you menstruating right now?
am I? -And we're done
alright, that was a good time. Thank you very much.
Hank, don't go we're having fun he didn't mean it.
It wasn't sexual
Of course it's sexual -
there's nothing wrong with expressing a healthy, respectful interest in someone else’s sexuality.
See I'm married -Oh now you're married?
I am, I'm married
I think he's suggesting group sex, I mean that's what you're suggesting, right?
By all means look at us
The four of us have this incredible sexual chemistry.
You go, I'm going to take a bullet for you
you know I want it so bad - I'm just not ready, I'm not ready.
I'll see you soon okay.
What the fuck was that? - I like him.
Daisy, you're back.
Yeah, I was just in the neighbourhood
I don't understand, is your date over already?
Not exactly, I kinda blew it off
I know, I know Highly dysfunctional.
But you see, I forgot something.
What's that?
Just how much I love dirty dancing, friends don't let friends wallow.
at least no alone.
So what do you say Charlie Runkle, are you ready to have the time of your life?
It is not every day that you meet a man - who has impregnated a cult member.
well there are a lot of controlled substances involved, it was only the one time.
wow, so your boys are potent? -they were.
I've been snipped, vasectomised.
had my testies done.
wow, that is some excellent foreplay
you like that? That's my A-material.
At the end of the night - I just come right out and announce my infertility.
It's sexy. It is, it really turns a girl on.
oh that reminds me,
got something of yours.
you, left something at my place. Your notebook.
I hope you filled in all the blanks for me.
Nah, i figured you could do that Maybe follow me back to my place?
for the proverbial night cap?
I'm gonna have to pass on that very tempting offer
wow, we checked it.
No don't think of it that way
Think of it.. uh.. I'm gay.
Why because I'm married?
Well because your married, because you're a loose girl and..
because I got the strangest feeling about you
Yeah you are? -Yeah and I..
Can't believe I'm gonna say this out loud but, I feel that I don't want to make love to you just the once
Allthough I'm sure you will enjoy the shit out of it.
I don't think you're gonna get this chance again.
You're mean, mean mean..
Still I'm gonna have to say no.
So I'm just like what, a story for you book?
You're not going to bait me into changing my mind, Janie Jones.
Answer me this though, what is so sexy about a man that's been vasectomised
I don't know. I guess, it shows that you can commit.
that you can give your whole heart to someone, make sacrifices to plead a woman.
So you think a woman made me do this, some castrating female.
Definitely did this for a woman, you are not some stray dog.
Hank Moody. You belong to someone.
Takes one to know one.
You know he throws these huge parties and these people come and they drink his booze -
and they act like they're his friends. -Yeah I've heard.
Guest of honor never shows.
Not sure I can bare watch the rest.
It's pretty much over once the baby - comes out of the ?coma?
Were you even alive in the fall of 1987? -Of course I was alive.
It was a good time
I was in the mail room at William Morris Marc was still at MYU
One day, somebody broke into our dorm room. Some homeless crackaddict.
snuck in and stole all our jewellery, so I tried to think of a movie that might cheer her up
It worked didn't it?
We had to go all the way up to 52nd street - to see it.
Some crappy little theatre that's not even there anymore
The store across the street - where i bought her twizzlers and diet coke.
That's still there.
Charlie she'll get better
She'll be home soon and everything will get back to normal.
Yeah, sure.
She'll quit the bolivian marshing powder I'll hut my lebeto back in a box.
Redone the suit and the whole cycle can start over again
I don't know much about marriage but it doesn't sound so entirely bad to me.
you're probably right,
what's your choice right, you choose your partner
then you do the dance, what's the alternative.
sit the whole thing out? -No way.
You can't do that, right
not the very least I mean.
you gotta dance the last dance of the season.
I'm not sure that's a very good idea
What, I'm not talking anything carnal Just a simple box step.
I stay in my dance space, you stay in your dance space
Maybe that can work
Except I'm not very good. -Me neither.
Here you are. -Thank you.
Lewie, that was such a great night I appreciate it.
It's not just the music, right? it's how, when you hear it.
That's it, yeah.
Don't forget your work stuff
I don't get to say that a lot, girls they work at Jumbo's Clown Room.
They usually have, briefcases and shit.
I can imagine, they wouldn't be a whole lot of use for that right
So Lew it's been real.
you wanna shake hand? -Yes we are.
it's uh.. my date my rules right.
So it was a date?
anytime two people meet after 7 pm it's a date right?
my thoughts exactly, what the fuck is wrong with people
nobody has the balls to actually say - that they're on a date
I'm sorry, can't seem to let go of your hand
you kind of, sort of remind me of someone i once knew.
I know, you should take rid of the hollywood bowl.
because that was such a great date
maybe I will. I mean I used to, all the time
We'd sit in the cheap seats and you know.
If i ever had another chance
If you ever had another chance you'd do it different everybody says that and it's bullshit.
because you do it just the same
I have learned from my mistakes
You'd do? -Totally.
Oh my god, you're insane
I'm sorry. I lied
I've had just to fucking boring not to try
Right, that is true. I will give you that.
Lew, seriously that was an amazing night
and lets not ruin it
I really appreciate it I had a great time.
Oh my god, you're not still trying
Sorry, truce
yeah that's good, lets leave on a peaceful no.
what are you doing woman
look at you, don't have your keys out you got all your bags
you're like one of those victims - in a self defense video
What are you doing?
Any devian could jump out at you at this point and a stranger could be waiting for you
There is a strange guy waiting for me
Who me? No, what?
What are you stalking me?
No if I was stalking you I wouldn't have to ask you - where you've been tonight.
Are you asking me that
You don't have to tell me
Good, because i wont.
Don't you wanna know where I've been, because I have been somewhere tonight.
No, not specially -No i wanna tell you, look
Let me just tell you what I did not do.
I went on a date with this beautiful woman an amazing woman.
And I did not, have sex with her.
Not? -Yeah, I just cockblocked my self.
I remain chased.
I kept my eye on the big picture, I exercised some impulse control
until the moment you had to get in your car, drive here and tell me about it.
yeah that impulse I did not control, no. I wanted to share that with you.
Thank you, I'm gonna go.
Why are you looking at me like that? -How am I looking at you?
Like you want a reward or something.
Why, you have something? -I have a little biscuit
Hank.
That was very rewarding.
I just had to check to see you know, if I can still break through that impulse control of yours
apparently you can. -Thank god
Is becca really at her friends house tonight, she's not with Damien?
No, are you fucking insane? -No but you obviously are.
I don't want to talk about it
ok, what do you wanna talk about?
I want to know about your date.
Did you really just shut that poor woman down
I just shut her down, yeah.
I was the boss, well I did kiss her but I didn't go inside
Gross. -I'm just saying
I refrain.
You refrain from tapping that ass. -I refrain from tapping that ass.
was that a first?
we still don't know why you were so late returning to home tonight
big night at the book club, was it? -yes.
Did you O.D. on estrogen
had to come home for a little..
I was actually on a date
That's gross. -It was quite fun.
Now you're disgusting, I don't wanna hear it
Yes you do, you're gonna hear about it unless you can stop me.
can you stop me?
What is that? -That's a male member, I thought you'd met
No no, Hank. That.
What is that?
That's my groin
It's like a lump or something.
Did you allways have that?
Hank.
Subtitles by niklas. 25/11-2008